just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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