Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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