barbara walters just said penis...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
