the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
