Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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