But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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