I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
