Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
