i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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