I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
