Soap is not a condiment
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
