I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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