ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did I show you my penis last night?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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