You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
