no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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