I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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