theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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