I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
