My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize