I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
