idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
