This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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