thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
