I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
