I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
