He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you had me at cake vodka
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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