I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
