we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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