Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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