Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad

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(407): View more from Florida

She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.

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(954): View more from Florida

stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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(309): View more from Illinois

QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging

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(503): View more from Oregon

When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse

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