if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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