i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
