I think i peed on brittanys purse
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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