her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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