i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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