so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize