That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
