So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize