people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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