I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
