garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My room smells like vodka and shame
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
