Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
