He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
