Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
