We're like a lot better than the average bears
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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