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They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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