ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize