I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
