She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
