Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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