i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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