I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
