i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
