Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
