so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
