you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
