hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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