Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
