You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
