ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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