I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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