there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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