you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
