Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
