So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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