Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
